Character Vignette

This week for writing we have been working on our character vignettes. We had to look at a picture and write what we think he was doing, thinking, saying and how he felt. This is the picture:

You also had to describe sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. 
We had to use punctuation that was at Level 3.


Here is my writing:

Waiting… waiting… And they're off. Zooming round the track. My favourite, the red and blue one, is coming first.

“I wish dad was here to see this, oh yeah, but he’s at his stupid conferences,” I said to myself. I leaned back onto the wire fence feeling sad and lonely. It felt like something jabbing me in the back.

As soon as I landed on the wire, a car that had come from the showgrounds zoomed past at full speed. All the leaves in front of me flew up from the ground and made tornadoes. It was such a wonderful sight that I started spinning as well. When I was spinning, I didn’t know where I was going, so I spun onto the track. Everyone started shouting at me then… BANG! A race car hit me.  A shooting pain ran up my leg. As I ran off the track crying people started surrounding me. More and more tears ran down my cheeks.

I ran back to the car, my babysitter wasn’t there. I went searching for her, I couldn’t find her. I started to sweat. There I was standing scared in the middle of nowhere. Then suddenly someone came up to me and asked “Are you alright. I saw what happened there, you were just having fun weren’t you.”

“ Yes, but everyone ruined it,” I said feeling a bit better. Then I looked up and realized that I was talking to my babysitter. I asked her if we could leave, she said “Yes.” We drove off through the fog. Still glancing back.